It's now Christmas Day,
And just wouldn't you know,
The weatherman lied
When he said there'd be snow.
He said that the roofs
And the trees would look nice,
But when I looked out
They were covered with ice.
The forgetful mate
Put the turkey to roast;
The oven's still cold
So I'll get tea and toast.
Her family came by,
But I didn’t dare snooze
For fear her old man
Would swill down all my booze.
The day's creeping by
And we've run out of wood.
I'm damn sick of toast;
Rover's dog food looks good.
That dog guards his bowl,
Will not divert his eyes;
The way that Maude cooks,
Even kibble 's a prize.
The Christmas tree fell
From the chintzy cheap stand,
The dog knocked it down,
Now he's bitten my hand.
The day 's not gone well,
And I'm starved as can be;
If I had my way
We'd have dog fricassee.
I made Maude aware
That the oven was cold,
Got smacked 'side the head;
The old broad's getting bold.
When shadows grow long
We’ll be soon off to bed;
I'll not get much sleep
With this pain in my head.
Bah!
Humbug!!
F.A.Zedik
12-25-01